


Alone Again, Naturally

by Yuno_Magic



Category: Don't Hug Me I'm Scared (Webseries)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - Human, Canonical Character Death, Childhood Trauma, Emotionally Repressed, Family Loss, Flashbacks, Further explanation in notes, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Memories of Good Times, Panic Attacks, Yellow Guy Deserved Better, fanon names
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:29:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25197739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuno_Magic/pseuds/Yuno_Magic
Summary: “He slipped the picture out of the page protector with a wavering hand. It was taken during someone’s birthday. Maybe it was Harry’s. He doesn’t remember. The photo began to soak from the flowing tears trickling down his flushed cheeks, pouring out from his eyes. That was another lesson he learned. This wasn’t a fairytale read to him where the hero prevails over the villain in the end. This was reality. A cruel world that he so happened to live in.He held the photo up to his chin, clutching it hard as if it was going to let go.There was no happy ending after all.”—Or: Doi was the only one alone in the house for the first time in awhile. But instead of escaping, he grieves.
Relationships: Duck & Red Guy & Yellow Guy (Don't Hug Me I'm Scared)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	Alone Again, Naturally

**Author's Note:**

> Before we begin I’d like to start with a warning. This one-shot revolves around the topic of grieving and loss of loved ones. These subjects are definitely not for everyone and can be triggering for some people. In addition, the protagonist of the story is portrayed as a child that is going through what was mentioned above. If you’re sensitive to any of the following topics I highly advise you not to read further if you find it uncomfortable, triggering, or disturbing for your mental state. Thank you and please take care of yourself. 
> 
> For those who are willing to carry on, this takes place some time after DHMIS 6. Some of the elements are based off of the theory (idk if you could really call it that cuz I saw it on the wiki and didn’t bother to look elsewhere) that even though Harry pulled the plug it was still possible that Doi was stuck in the original universe even if an alternate version of him has been generated. Characters will also have their typical fanon names, but as mentioned before the story is through the POV of Doi. Also the formatting might look more spaced out and I tried to change that but I didn’t like the look of it so my apologies. 
> 
> With that being said, I hope you enjoy the story. Happy reading!
> 
> Title taken from Alone Again, Naturally by Gilbert O’Sullivan (Cover by Sammy Copley)

The sound of fallen leaves and grass being crunched under the heels of black uniform shoes could be heard as a lone boy strolled through the woods. The sun glaring down at him from above in the azure sky. It was deficient of any clouds, making it clear for a bird to glide through every once awhile, to swoop down and nestle themselves on a nearby branch. It wasn’t too hot, but it wasn’t too cold either. The climate was just right for the flowers to bloom and to observe Mother Nature.

It would’ve been the perfect day for a picnic. 

Although, that wasn’t the objective that Doi had in mind today. He didn’t carry a picnic basket, nor did he assist to handle a cooler filled with icy drinks. He wasn’t hugging a rolled up picnic blanket as if it was a giant stuffed animal. He came to the forest with one thing only, a single honeysuckle. He meandered for awhile, idly playing with the soft white petals with his small fingers. It wasn’t supposed to be normal for a seven year old kid to be outside alone. 

But Doi didn’t care. Being alone meant he could be by himself and being alone meant he could think more clearly. He had visited the forest numerous times with his friends, so he wouldn’t have much of a problem getting back home. Past clusters of red berry bushes and the shadows of towering oak trees, he finally arrived at a small, familiar clearing. Those two logs that once laid adjacent to each other have already been pushed away and left near some shrubs. 

Doi knew there was no point for them to be sitting there anymore if there weren’t going to be any future picnics. He just came to the forest to visit someone. 

The kid made a beeline towards a patch of dirt giving itself out in the grass. It was a grave made out of a cardboard sign stuck to the ground. Taped on to it was a picture of a man with green hair, yellow eyes and a brown blazer. The background showed he was at a beach, a big smile on his face, reaching ear to ear. Scrawled underneath the photo in red crayon was his name and his time of death.

**ROBIN**

**“A LOVING AND CARING BIG BROTHER”**

**October 14th ???- June 19th**

Doi released a shaky sigh as he stared at it.   
  


His entire body was canned and a lot of it was fed to him. He just couldn’t imagine what the Healthy Band had done to the man. Let alone the horrible pain he must’ve gone through. So if he were given a funeral somehow, they’re gonna have to bury an empty casket. In an attempt to give Robin a proper burial and a place to rest his poor soul, he supposed that this would suffice. Beneath the soil was a box filled with the empty cans that once contained the entrails. The child hoped that it wouldn’t do anything to harm the environment. 

Before he could feel the lump rising in the back of his throat, he spoke for the first time in awhile. 

“Hi, Ro- Robin...” 

He could barely say his name without stumbling. 

“I uhm... I thought I would come by to visit again.” 

There was no reply. Doi wasn’t really expecting one. 

Surreptitiously, he hoped that Robin could be hearing this from somewhere in the great beyond. He just couldn’t hear him from this one. 

“Harry is still missing, I really don’t know where he is. I don’t know- maybe he’s alive or...”

Harry’s whereabouts were just left up in the air. Doi didn’t want to assume the worse and hoped that he was still out there somewhere. 

Or maybe he was already dead and he doesn’t even know it. 

“It’s weird for him to disappear like that. I wish he could’ve told us so we went along with him.” 

Doi knelt down to meet eye level with the grave, feeling the blades of the grass brushing against his knees. 

“Uhm... anyway I also brought you a gift.” 

He held out the honeysuckle, placing it on top of the dirt plot. The white adding color to the dullness of the browns and dark greens around him. 

“I remember you once told me that they mean happiness.” He muses.

He smiled a little.

“So these are for you. Because wherever you are, I really hope you’re happy there.” The child glanced over his shoulder, and around the rest of the forest. He turned back to face the grave and look at the photo as if he was speaking to the real Robin. 

“You have to be happy... you at least don’t get to listen to their songs anymore.” 

He was half-expecting that little baby pigeon to suddenly appear and convince him to join their group again or sing to him about how he sees a lot of death in the world. To his relief, nothing came by. Still, he couldn’t shake off the feeling of being watched. Nevertheless he tries to ignore it. 

“I just- I really wish I could’ve done something. If only I could...” 

If he could what? What could he do? Turn back time? 

  
  


...

What  _can_ he do?  
  


“Oh I guess... it doesn’t matter anymore does it? You’re free, and I’m glad that you’re free.” 

The forest was silent. 

“I’ve tried to get some more sleep.”

He played with the straps on his overalls, trying to distract himself. 

“It’s kind of hard without being read any bedtime stories to get me to sleep.” He laughs to himself lowly. 

Why was he still doing this? 

“I remember when you and Harry would read them to me.” 

He’s talking to nothing but the empty air. 

“My favorite one had to be “Alice In Wonderland.” Well you would know since I’ve always told you to read it over and over again to me.” 

A pointless attempt at lightening things up. 

He still felt sad, but he slightly beams at the memories. 

Valuable things of what he had left. 

“I miss the stories.”

The wind howls. 

The breeze was brisk but he shivers. 

How can a warm and peaceful day feel so gloomy and bitter? 

“I miss the picnics.” 

A pause. 

Not wanting to go on. 

He opens his mouth regardless. 

“I miss you... I miss you both.”

Then there was the air that clogged up his throat and the corners of his eyes becoming blurry. He didn’t even realize that he was shaking. He swallowed, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. 

No. He can’t. He _mustn’t_. Not right now. 

If anything, they’ll probably make fun of him again. 

The boy only sat there awkwardly, staring at the grave with a somber expression. When Robin was alive, he was usually very talkative. Usually about old school things and a lot of historical stuff. Doi on the other hand couldn’t even string a full sentence together without feeling an ounce of guilt weighing him down. Sometimes he wonders if he had disrespected Robin just by eating him. Sometimes he wonders if Robin even appreciated the grave he made for him. Sometimes he wonders if it was his fault that Robin got killed in the first place.

The stillness hangs in the air for some time. Doi decides that this might be his cue to go back. He stands up, brushing some stray dirt and grass off of his knees and socks. 

“I’ll... come back again sometime.” He murmurs, eyes turning away from the burial. 

“It’s been nice talking to you Robin. Rest well. Now that you’re in a better place.”

Doi gives a small, doleful smile before turning around. He stays there for a moment, inhaling a shaky breath. The smile had already dissipated. He threads his hands together.

“And also...” He started.

“I... I’m sorry.”

Before he could ramble any further, he began walking. Far from the grave and into the woods. 

Ants scuttled about across the Earth, birds whistled in the distance. Gusts of wind blew off the leaves from trees, drifting on to the forest floor. Sticks and twigs crackled from under his shoes. And there was the faint sound of rushing waters from a far away river. It was peaceful. 

Doi doesn’t hear any of that. 

The sun that dangled from the former blue sky had already begun to descend. Dark purples and soft pinks blended in with splashes of warm reds and yellows. It was beautiful. 

Doi doesn’t see any of that. 

He curls his arms around himself. Routinely following the path from where he once came. The directions embedded at the back of his mind. The same nagging thoughts coming back to haunt him. He knew he felt wrong. He knew he felt guilty. He knew he felt cold. He knew he felt empty. It was... lonely. 

But Doi doesn’t speak about any of that. 

On his way back no other words had been exchanged. Only a silent voice hidden somewhere in oblivion. It called out to be released. It hollered from its shady confines for it to be able to convey, to speak about it’s own grievances. To lament about it’s failures, it’s fears, it’s frustrations, it’s woes. But he wouldn’t let it speak. He concluded that it was probably better that way. Showing any kind of weakness would get him killed.

Doi tries not to think about anything related to June 19th for the rest of the walk back to the house. 

—- 

The sky was already a dark shade of indigo when he reached the house. The sun had fallen out from the horizon, the moon on the other end prepared to take it’s place for the night. Doi took out the key he was hiding in the pouch of his overalls and inserted it through the lock. He gave it a twist, hearing the clicking sound. He turned the knob, pushing the door inwards. After he went inside he locked it again. It probably wasn’t going to stop the baby pigeon from getting in. But he was taught that locking your doors was the best way to keep any strangers out. He didn’t know where he was supposed to put the key, so he placed it on the coffee table where his old drawings laid. The boy looked around.

It was quiet. There was no music building up and oddly... there were no teachers to greet him. 

They would take the forms of inanimate objects (or in the pigeon’s case take the form of an animal) to give them the idea on what the lecture was going to be about. Then they’d have to shed their glamour and shift into a more... human like version of themselves to start the lesson. It wasn’t that he minded the quiet, it was better that way. Still, the child decided to check around the house to make sure he was clear. 

_“Alright Doi... you got this. It’ll be like those Scavenger Hunts...” _ He thinks to himself, trying to muster up at least a little bit of courage. 

He had already come back from the forest. So it was clear to him that the baby pigeon wasn’t anywhere outside. Now he’s in the house, checking around the living room. The first thing he noticed was that Tony wasn’t in his clock form hanging on the wall. Paige wasn’t sitting on the bookshelf as a sketchbook either. He could cross off the living room and the first two from the list in his mind now. 

Doi cautiously walked to the far wall next to the stairs, leading directly into the game room. This was the room where Colin was situated in whilst taking the form of a computer. As he moved, he could feel his small frame quivering uneasily and his heartbeat starting to go faster. He entered, and scanned the area. 

Empty. No computers here. 

After checking the shelves, looking under the table and checking the room twice, the boy then left. 

Next was the kitchen. He did NOT like going into the kitchen. The fridge doesn’t come alive unless Steak or Spinach tell him to. So any food left behind was still in for the taking as well as in the cupboards and the pantry. Except he couldn’t eat any of it. Well rather, he didn’t  want to eat any of it. He had to be careful when entering.

As he stared at the entrance to the kitchen, he released a huff and started moving again. It was a dangerous Scavenger Hunt for sure, but he wasn’t given any other options. He crept towards the doorway, his heart still beating at an alarming rate. Once he got to the entrance with his hand on the doorknob, he yanked it open and peered his little head through just enough for him to look inside.

Nothing. 

There was nothing. 

No signs of Steak. No signs of Spinach Can.

He couldn’t pick up the smell of fresh greens or raw meat nearby. He went inside the kitchen. He hastened to open the cupboards to see if someone was hiding in any of them only to come up empty. Without double checking, Doi dashed out of the kitchen and shut the door behind him in the same fashion he’d run for the covers of his bed after turning off the lights. Again, he did not like it there. At all. Speaking of turning off the lights... he had one final stop to go to.

The bedroom. 

Arguably, it was probably the safest room in the house. He could just lock the door and escape through the window if he has to. Though the paradox of that, was that it was where Larry made his debut, sang to him about dreams against his will and drowned him in oil twice. Where all of the teachers materialized in his spot at the same time. He could’ve sworn that some of his hair fell out. Doi shudders at the memory. He didn’t get any sleep as a result of that. 

_“O-Okay... just one last place to check. You’re almost done with the game.”_ He thought to himself. 

He carefully made his way up the stairs. Whimpering silently as each wooden step creaked under his weight despite being such a petite kid. His heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest at any moment now- no- no- don’t think about any of that. Not when you’re so close. He nearly tripped on the last step but he caught himself with the railing. The hallway was dark, but Doi could clearly see the door to the bedroom left ajar. 

He froze when he saw that the lights from inside were out. Just his luck. 

He swallowed. As with the other rooms, he walked towards it slowly. Trying his best to block out the rising dread for the worst, the vigorous thumps of his racing heart, and the tears threatening to fall. 

He arrived at the door, and he barged his head in, reaching for the light switch, flicking it. The room was then illuminated with a yellowish glow. He looked at his nightstand. 

No blue lamp. 

On instinct, he checked the room twice. Rummaging through the wardrobe, checking under the beds, and looking inside his toy box. 

Again... there was nothing. 

Larry wasn’t here. Neither were any of the teachers. 

He breathed a sigh of relief. He completed the scavenger hunt and he was rewarded with the sound of silence. But now that he finished his visit and the hunt for the teachers were over, he didn’t know about what else he could do. With no other plans in mind, he decided to sit on his bed instead. Kicking off his shoes, he climbed onto the mattress and sat there dopily. 

It was probably a waste of time to just sit and bask in the silence. But it was still better than getting dragged into another lesson and being punished in the most gruesome ways possible all because he asked a question. 

Doi learned not to ask any questions at all. He’d dare ask about the logic of the lecture and then milliseconds later his hair starts growing longer and his entire body is decaying from the inside out. They were supposed to have a happy time together when all of a sudden these...  things  came alive, start singing, dancing and contradicting themselves then the lesson lost all of the meaning it was trying to prove in the first place. Music meant something bad was going to happen to somebody. Music meant he’ll get dragged into another nightmarish lesson. Noise was bad. Noise meant death. Music meant death. There was never any good that came out of the lessons. At least nothing he could recall.

The silence acted like Doi’s life support. He clung and held onto it in fear that it would go away and fly out of his little hands. He loved the quiet because nothing bad was happening to anybody. Yet a teacher always finds a way to intervene and snatch it away from him. 

They not only stole the quiet. They took it all and ran away with it and there was no way he was going to get it back.

They stole his innocence. They stole his peace of mind. They stole his sanity. They stole his hard work on his clown painting. They stole his happiness- the quiet- the freedom- the curiosity to know things- his family- 

His family... 

They stole his family. 

Thinking about what the teachers had done to ruin their lives made his blood boil. If he had been any bolder, he would’ve started pouring water on the sketchbook and tearing it into little pieces- Tearing the clock off of the wall- Burning the Malcolm statue and ripping the colorful wings off of the butterfly- Trashing the computer monitor and severing the wires- Shoving the band in the oven- Throwing the lamp out of the window where it’ll shatter apart like the fragments from a jigsaw puzzle- 

_“You big meanies!”_ The same voice he kept locked away screamed.

_“I hope you’re happy right now after what you had done to us!”_

He would’ve flipped everything over. 

Thrown things at the walls. 

Shook the trees outside until they toppled. 

_“I hate you! All of you!”_

_“I hate everything about this place!”_

_“I hate June 19th!”_

Yet...

No matter how tempting it was to do and how good it would probably feel to unleash the fury he felt...

He couldn’t bring himself to do any of those things. Any bubbling rage in his system had already begun to fade. Why would he think that’d he be brave enough to lash out on the teachers the next time they’d appear to him? How stupid can he be?

What a foolish and stupid kid he was.

Why... 

Why, why, why?! 

_“Why did you believe what the teachers said?”_

_“You know that they were misleading you and yet you listened to them anyway. Why didn’t you stand up for yourself for once?”_

Harry or Robin would’ve lived longer than he had. They were the ones who weren’t as dumb and naive as him. They should’ve been able to stay alive. 

But not him though. 

Not him... 

Why did he have to be the one to survive? 

In the room, sat two beds left untouched. A desk in the corner with stacked books and a pair of tan, horn rimmed glasses collecting dust. An easel chalkboard that hadn’t been drawn on with their favorite colors. A framed photo of them at the beach. Then a scrapbook on his nightstand exposing pictures of smiling and joyful faces. One was missing. The teachers had been bad enough to take Harry and Robin away from him. But they weren’t evil enough to take away the things they had in their possession. They were still inanimate objects, like some of the teachers before transforming. But these were some of the things he has left of  them. Aside from memories, these items served as tokens of remembrance. Remembrance of the life they had before June 19th. Before the teachers came. Before the trauma... Before the misery.

He wasn’t the only one who enjoyed the silence. He knew that they liked it too when no teacher was out to get them. He paid no mind when they would speak. Their voices made him forget about the teachers. They played with him and cared for him. 

Harry and Robin weren’t just his friends. They were his family. 

They were everything to him. They made him feel loved. They made him feel safe. They made him feel happy.

They made him feel at home.

Drops of water fell on the sheets and the entire room grew cloudy in his vision. Warm tears streamed down his freckled face as the lump that clogged his throat came loose, and the child broke into a sequence of soft, quiet sobs. In the back of his mind, a lost memory resurfaces. 

( _Doi stood in the living room, shaking. His breathing short and rapid, his chest felt so tight as if he were being crushed at the bottom of the sea. He stared at the clock hanging on the wall._

_Those ticking sounds-_

_The loud beeping that made his ears bleed-_

_The melting of flesh-_

_He couldn’t breathe-_

_Why was it so hard to breathe-_

_“Doi? You’re going to be okay alright? Just stay with us.” Robin’s voice murmured. His tone firm, but gentle. “Let’s try to take deep breaths. Deep breaths...”_

_His breathing hitched but he nodded._

_Everything was so dizzy-_

_“Breathe in, and breathe out.” He soothed. “Breathe in...” The older man inhaled slowly._

_Breathe in-_

_In the middle of shallow wheezing, Doi did his best to mimick the movement and breathed in after him._

_“Breathe out.” Robin exhaled._

_Doi followed suit, breathing out. _

_“Good... Now repeat. Breathe in, and breathe out.”_

_He breathed in and breathed out. Inhaling the calm, exhaling the fear._

_“You’re doing great. This too will pass we promise.” He assured._

_His racing heart slowly began to relax as the child kept breathing in a more steady pattern. The constrictions in his chest and the nauseated feeling had receded. The room no longer spun and the murkiness from the corners of his vision had disappeared. After finally calming down, he can clearly see that h_ e _was staring at two familiar faces. Robin was kneeling down in front of him._

_“Feeling all better now, kid?” Harry asked who was behind Robin the whole time. It wasn’t distinct behind his usual monotone voice, but his dark eyes showed that he was worried._

_Doi took a moment before he could manage to say, “I-I think so... but that clock. That clock he made us-“ Stray tears began to fall from his eyes._

_A soft hush broke past Robin’s lips before he could finish his sentence._

_“I know you’re scared, Doi. But you will be okay. Things like this don’t last forever.” He consoled, wiping away the tears from his cheeks._

_“Th-They don’t...?” Doi muttered with a sniffle._

_“He’s right. They don’t.” Harry replied. “Go sit on the couch with Robin. I know something we could do that’ll make you feel better.”_

_Harry sat on the green leather arm chair while Robin stood up, gently taking Doi’s hand escorting him to the couch. He climbed onto the sofa and Robin took his seat. The child took a quick glance at the clock and he shudders._

_“Don’t look at the clock. Try to focus on something else.” Harry said._

_Doi tore his eyes away from the cursed object after Harry told him so._

_“Uhhh...” Confused, his attention was drawn to the floor instead._

_“Try to think of a place that makes you happy. Say what you like about it.” Robin explained._

_“Ohh.” Doi sat there kicking his legs as he tried to think._

_“The beach... I like the beach. The sand is squishy and the water is nice and cold. And I like looking at the shapes of the boats.” He says, wringing his hands. He hoped his answer wasn’t too embarrassing._

_“That sounds nice. What other places make you happy?” Robin said, smiling softly. _

_Doi hummed, contemplating._

_“I like the nature... like outdoors. I like those uhm- flappy little baby pigeons outside and the... the flowers. Oh! The mountains look pretty cool too!” He cooed._

_Harry furrowed an eyebrow. “Baby pigeons?”_

_“Yeah! Those ones with colorful wings but they look really REALLY  small. They also like to sit on the flowers for some reason.” _

_Harry nodded as he hummed at Doi’s answer. Confused as to where he got the name “little baby pigeons” from. But he decided not to question it._

_“Oh! I haven’t been to this one yet but I’d like to go to it one day.”_

_“Oh? Where would you like to go then?” The green haired male asked._

_“I wanna go to a big big big big tower with some spoons! The spoons act like lasers and it’ll keep the bad guys far away. So nothing bad can happen to anybody ever!” He said stretching his arms as high as he could in the air. His orange eyes filled with glee._

_“Uh... kid I don’t think thats-“ Harry began but Robin shot him a glare_ _and he suddenly stopped himself from speaking any further._

_Doi tilted his head. “You don’t think that’s what?”_

_“I...” He trails off, thinking of a sensible answer in order not to crush the kid’s dreams. And maybe not to get scolded by Robin afterwards too._

_“I don’t think that... it’s impossible to find.” He says instead._

_Doi’s eyes sparkled not catching the slight hesitance in his voice. “Wow, really?! You mean I can go there one day?”_

_A smile crept onto Harry’s face. The child’s enthusiasm and cheerful nature was surely contagious._

_“Absolutely. You’ll just have to find a map from a magical pirate ship that’ll lead you to the tower. Then once you find it, the bad guys can never touch you.”_

_Doi beams and the excitement in his eyes caused him to bounce off of the sofa and jump around the room cheerfully. The older men watched him do so as they shared the same joyful grin. Delighted by the Euphoria the boy was generating._

_“Yayyyy! I can go to the big tower!” Suddenly Doi stopped his act, and the smile wavered. “But wait...”_

_Their faces fell. “What’s the matter?” Robin asked._

_Doi shuffled his feet and hid his hands behind his back._

_“Will you guys be there too? With me at the safe tower?” Doi asked. “I would ask my Dad to come but he never talks to me a lot anymore...”_

_“Why of course we’ll be there with you! I’m certain we’ll have an amazing adventure looking for the tower.” Robin replies._

_“We’ll help you find the pirate ship and the map. That big tower with some spoons will be ours in no time.” Harry adds._

_Doi’s luminous smile returns and he rushed over to Harry, to pull him by his hand for him to get off of the chair. The child then hugged him which caught the red head off guard. He was the tallest out of the three, and Doi only reached up to his stomach._

_“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! We’ll be the guards of the tower!”_

_Harry then wraps his arms around the small child. “Of course we will. I’m sure it’ll be fun.”_

_“Uhhh hey! Something seems to be missing!” Robin says, embracing Harry from the side with one arm and using his free hand to ruffle Doi’s blue hair. The three exchanged small giggles and stayed that way for what felt like an eternity._

_For a moment, Doi had forgotten about what happened earlier. For a moment, both of the lessons didn’t matter to him. Robin and Harry were the ones that mattered. They were the ones that made him happy, even on this horrific day that was June 19th._

_Doi had thought, that everything was going to turn out okay with the three of them._ ) 

Something inside of the child broke as reality came crashing down on him like a train after the flashback faded. 

Harry and Robin were the ones that tried their best to keep him safe. Even with all the teachers around, he still had them who brought him comfort. He wasn’t alone when it came to the suffering. But Doi on the other hand... he couldn’t keep them safe in return. As a result, they were the ones that were taken away by the monsters that dwelled in this awful place.

He didn’t even know how long it had been since they’ve been gone. He wasn’t sure if a week had already went by or if it was the next month because the calendar on the wall is never changing. Today has been June 19th. Yesterday had been June 19th. The day before that was June 19th and the days before that. 

In a futile attempt to erase the sadness, he rubbed his eyes trying to get rid of the tears. Whimpering to nothing.

“I’m sorry! I, I-I’m sorry guys. I wish I could’ve- I wish could’ve protected you too!” 

But he couldn’t could  he? And he didn’t even _try_ did he?

Why was he apologizing when he didn’t make a valiant effort to try and save them? 

What was he? 

He was weak. He was a happy go lucky child who was incapable of doing anything on his own. Defenseless, helpless, always in need of protection from stronger people. A stupid boy who had no clue about what the real problem actually was. A kid that was so timid and scared to face the peril and speak up for himself. 

A coward. 

That’s what he was. 

He thought that being by himself meant he wouldn’t be feeling any kind of damaging feeling like fear or anguish from the teachers or fall victim to their wicked games. For now he was safe from the lessons. But he wasn’t safe from his own thoughts. They circled the open air and dove down when he’s at his lowest to devour him whole.

“It’s my fault... It’s all mine... it’s- it’s-“

He engulfed sharply.

He should’ve gone to look for Harry when they were still trapped in the digital world. He should’ve begged for Robin to stay instead of letting him run outside where he would eventually be torn apart. He should’ve been braver. He should’ve been stronger. But there was nothing he could do about it.

If there ever was one thing he understood about any one of the lessons, it was that everybody’s time runs out and that the future doesn’t exist. 

Because there would be no future. No future where everything was okay. Not one where it wasn’t June 19th all the time. Never one where Harry and Robin were still alive. The pictures that laid in the scrapbook and framed in the photo were a tantalizing sight of his failure to preserve a happy ending for the three of them.   
  


He slipped the picture out of the page protector with a wavering hand. It was taken during someone’s birthday. Maybe it was Harry’s. He doesn’t remember. The photo began to soak from the flowing tears trickling down his flushed cheeks, pouring out from his eyes. That was another lesson he learned. This wasn’t a fairytale read to him where the hero prevails over the villain in the end. This was reality. A cruel world that he so happened to live in. 

He held the photo up to his chin, clutching it hard as if it was going to let go.

There was no happy ending after all. 

One of them was out there possibly lost or dead. While the other who’s body came as flesh and guts stuffed in cans was buried underground for the insects crawling under the dirt to feast on. 

And one was still alive, and a total train wreck.

Someone get him off of this ride. 

When Doi kept crying, he didn’t try to keep himself quiet this time. He simply cried louder. Noisily, still fruitlessly trying to cleanse his face with his hand. He didn’t care if the teachers would hear him. He doesn’t have time. He wasn’t given  any  time to grieve at all. 

The wails filled the room and echoed through the walls of the empty house. He wept, the bitter and harsh grief suffocating him more than the oil that clogged up his throat and filled his lungs.

How long would he last until he loses his mind? 

What would be the final straw to make him shatter? The teachers? The trauma? The loss he was feeling? Another lesson? 

For how long had he remained silent? Listening to whatever has been said to him by the teachers. Believed in them, whether it made sense or not. He had been tormented, rotted alive, drowned in oil, and berated. How long had he tried to repress his emotions and keep that voice quiet? 

But now the voice was free. And at what cost?

He let go of the photo and stopped wiping his face. Burying it in his hands instead. From his own mouth came out a mute, distressed shriek. 

_He couldn’t have lost something that was already lost a long time ago._

He’s on his own and no one can help him. 

He didn’t want to be alone. 

He collapsed onto his bed, grabbing the picture again and clutching it against his chest. 

Doi didn’t want to be alone. 

_I don’t want to be alone... I don’t want to be alone..._

His heart carried the crumbling weight of the mountains and his mind was a cold, reckless ocean with thundering rainstorms. 

_ Deep breaths. Take deep breaths. Remember what Robin said. _

He sniffs, and inhales deeply.

He just wanted them back. 

Please just let him have them back. 

His  family  back. 

“I miss you two...” He breathes.

_Breathe_ in.

He misses them. 

_Breathe_ out. 

He misses them so much.

A desolate house with no teachers, no lessons, no housemates and one student. Upstairs in his bedroom weeping until his heart would give out. 

So tragic. So lonesome.

_I don’t want to be alone again..._

But just like last time. 

When he broke down in his bedroom, nobody came to save him. 

He was alone.

Alone again, like always. 

**Author's Note:**

> Well if that ain’t a wild ride, idk what is. I wrote this in two weeks and suddenly I had another idea that came to mind but idk if I’ll be writing about that one soon. 
> 
> You may have also noticed that I described the living room from the original DHMIS 2 differently. That was because it was loosely based off of the one saw in the Wakey Wakey trailer. Additionally, the line about the magical pirate ship was based on the BTS video on the Kickstarter DVD: https://youtu.be/fCu3XMT2ncU The dialogue about the tower and spoons was also based on Doi/Yellow Guy’s bio on the fandom wiki and in an interview with It’s Nice That: https://www.itsnicethat.com/features/dont-hug-me-im-scared-interview-030516
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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